The following is part 2 of a two-part series. Read part 1 here. 

ORLANDO | Do you feel your spiritual growth has stalled? Have you been confessing the same sin for years and don’t understand why? Do you need to discern a big decision or desire a deeper relationship with Christ? These are all good reasons to seek spiritual direction.

According to Catholic Spiritual Directors website, “Spiritual direction has been part of the Church’s mission since Christ commissioned the apostles to teach and guide all nations, and since the early Church Fathers and Mothers have played significant roles in providing spiritual guidance.”

Some Scripture references include Sir 37:12, “Instead, associate with a religious person, who you know keeps the commandments; Who is like-minded with yourself and will grieve for you if you fall.” And Tob 4:18, “Seek out the counsel of a wise man and do not despise any worthy advice.” Director of Spiritual Development for the diocese, Father Anthony Aarons notes Phillip and the Ethiopian eunuch in Acts of the Apostles 8:26-40. “(The eunuch) was reading the Scriptures and wanted to find out who is this about? What does this all mean? He had an understanding, but not a fuller understanding.”

“I think you have to love people,” says Julie Harper, a spiritual director for the past 20 years.  Harper is a retired nurse and psychotherapist who felt drawn to helping people on their spiritual journey. While noting the similarities between therapy and spiritual direction, she also recognizes they are very different. “You use similar skills such as listening, asking questions, connecting and forming a relationship. The difference is, in therapy we are looking to solve problems to come up with a solution. Whereas, in spiritual direction we’re listening through the eyes of faith. Where is God in this? Where is God leading you? What is God asking of you to do?” she explains.

Based on her own experience, Harper says people are drawn to spiritual direction for many reasons—”a longing for something, or a hunger to know Jesus on a more than superficial level.  And it’s healing, having Jesus in your life,” she says.

Harper continues to meet with her own spiritual director every month.  She says every person has different needs and levels of spirituality that govern the process of direction. “It just takes time for people to get to that place to be vulnerable enough to share.” She finds often it begins with helping people establish a regular prayer life, recognizing who God is for them, and how God speaks to them. She has discovered people with a more mature faith who, “just come to talk, to share, and to explore.” She describes her role by saying, “As a director I am holding a sacred space for them to tell their story.”

Her own deep feelings about spiritual direction may offer encouragement to people who have questions. “My directees are gifts. It is an honor to sit with them and to know their story.  And to pray for them every day. And to see God working in their lives,” she says.

Spiritual director John Molloy describes spiritual direction as “getting better at understanding and hearing God’s voice in our lives through practices of prayer, not only in prayer times, but in all aspects of our lives.” It is the art of accompanying someone toward holiness.

“It’s helpful to have an outside voice helping us understand, is this my voice, my own thoughts? Have I missed something in this discussion with the Lord? Am I already biased towards a particular path? Am I being too hard on myself? Am I not being hard enough?” he said. “It just helps to have an objective voice speaking into a situation saying, here is perhaps where the Lord is; here is where the enemy is at work; here is a place you still need to bring before the Lord. The benefit is the outside, objective voice who is also in tune with God and listening to His voice as you’re wrestling through things.”

Molloy shares what one can expect in a typical meeting. Noting format will vary from director to director, he says he starts with an interview to get an idea of where the directee is coming from. There is usually a lot of listening and some prompts to discuss what’s going on. “Sometimes there will be some challenge to wrestle with or grow your inner life,” he says. “But really, it’s about how you experience the voice of the Lord in your life. So, they will listen, reflect back usually, and may give you some suggested advice on how to continue growing in prayer.”

Molloy cautions it is not a one-size-fits-all, noting there are different personalities, styles, and even different spiritualities that can be helpful to us in seasons of our life. He recommends getting to know your spiritual director and states it is alright to ask, Are they under direction? It’s hard to lead where you haven’t been. It’s like the blind leading the blind.” He adds a trial period may be needed to determine if you can build trust. An environment of openness is key along with an awareness that the Holy Spirit is an integral part of the conversation.

“If you’re seeking direction, the Lord’s going to put the director for you in your path,” Molloy assured, who said receiving spiritual direction made him more aware of where God is trying to speak with him. He’s become “more patient with the long process that He takes sometimes.”

As a spiritual director Molloy says he has a greater sense of amazement of what God’s doing in other people. “I love saying that being a spiritual director gives me a front row seat to see what God is doing in someone else’s life,” he shared. “Sometimes they don’t even realize what’s happening until it’s coming out of their mouth in direction. I’m just sitting there in wonder and awe seeing God working in people’s lives in unexpected ways.

To find a spiritual director, contact Katie Phillips at San Pedro Spiritual Development Center at 407-671-6322 or katie@sanpedrocenter.org.